>Some day you will be out with that birds mouth paddle and, due to it's light >weight, will have paddled too far into unknown territory. As such, you will >hit the sandy bottom (with one 6" rock) and tear a 12" gash in your boat (the >same boat that you were led to build incorrectly by that wiley Mr. Schade). >Trying to brace yourself, your hollow paddle will fail (you know ... the one >your dog slept on the night before). Now capsized, your homemade skirt will >fail to seal and you'll be in the water. Of course that cloned non-USCG >approved PFD isn't going to do the job either! And alas, poor Shawn, when the >Coast Guard does show up, don't get too excited. They're not coming to rescue >you, but rather to confiscate your boat for not having an official HIN >permanently affixed to the stern.

>Bill

: When such a scenario plays out, remember that you are at the beach,

Geezz Paul, I don't know where you are getting that beach stuff. I heard it directly from someone, who knows more than I, that that particular rock is on a sand bar about 140 feet from the particular beach you mention. There's a 12' deep area between the bar and beach.

and have
: just hit a 6 inch stone, and at most your boat draws 5 inches. If you
: can't coast the remaining few feet to shore before sinking to the bottom,
: don't panic. Just step out of the boat and stand up in what is at most 11
: inches of water. Grab the gouged and damaged end with one hand and hold it
: above the water as you walk to shore.

Once off the sand bar, that boat would sink immediately. No walking to it. The gash was inflicted by a breaking wave raking the boat across the stone sideways and probably opened up a couple of inches wide. After all he did build it according to the poor information given him by that Shade"y" charactor. Even considering taking that boat off the bar would be loonacy. First of all, he'd have to swim the 140' towing a submerged craft and pulling against a major drag of a hull full of water and also pulling against the braking effect of the open gash. Now consider that rather poorly cloned PFD coming apart at the seams and the poorly installed foam floating off to who knows where and the rest just sinking to the bottom.

With your free hand you can pull out
: that 6 inch stone and palce it where no one else can hit it.

Which free hand would that be? He's swimming with one and towing a submerged boat with the other. ??? I suppose he could tuck it in his boat and sent it directly to the bottom, or maybe stick it in his wetsuit and ......... well, I shudder to think. Poor Shawn.

Once you are
: on shore, get out the duct tape and put two layers on the damaged area,
: inside and out. Then enjoy your trip.

IF he makes it.... and gets to shore, ( you already have him performing two miracles, so why not ) he still has to pull that 8oo lb. anchor out of the water as well, and he won't have strength to do any thing until he rests up a bit. Besides, draggin' that broken boat across the bottom will surely completely tear the boat in half, apparently do to the poor construction....well, we already mentioned why, didn't we?

: What, no duct tape?

For sure, no duct tape. That was in the section that broke off and sank, do to the hatch cover coming off.

Find a conifer (thats a tree with needles instead of
: leaves) and slash it with a knife or hit it with that rock that tore up
: your boat, breaking through the bark and exposing the light colored wood.

O.K., this is getting silly Paul. First of all, that rock is still back on the sand bar or at the bottom with the half of his boat. He surely wasn't silly enough to stick it in his shorts and try.......sorry ladies........ to swim to shore. And the knife, well O.K. maybe he had one in the pocket of his PF..opps!! Where is that thing?? Oh, I forgot, he's got a spare in his leg pocket. Good, now he can go cut into that tree. Sap!!

: Go away for awhile,

Ha! No offense but you expect to chop into a tree and run away and get away with it?? Just by chance, there was a Forestry Dept. Capt. up on the ridge above that beach and when he saw that, called the USCG right away.

and when you return you'll find that some sticky,
: resinous, waterproof sap has oozed out of the damaged area you created.
: Use a twig to sccop this up and apply it to your damaged hull. It worked
: for the indians and their birchbark canoes -- it can work for you.

First of all, any Indians in that area would have known about that rock and avoided it completely. So, you're way out in left field on that one as well. As for that sticky, resinous, waterproof sap that has oozed out, well how much would it take to close the whole end of the boat..half..?? I know, the indians could have sone it.

: Oh, that hollow shaft paddle that broke? No big problem. Find a convenient
: sized branch and whittle a 6 to 10 inch long piece to fit inside the
: hollowed shaft, filling and strengthening it. If you want, you can slit
: the hollow shaft for a few inches to allow it to expand a bit. A length of
: wire from your repair kit can be wrapped around the joint and twisted
: tight, squeezing the paddle shaft against the plug.

Oh Sure, first you've got him gashing up a perfectly beautiful Conifer for his own greedy puroses and Now!! you want him to whack off a whole branch. Well I have news for you. That broken paddle shaft, huh!... when it snapped, he cursed the day that dog was born and pitched that shaft as far as he could throw it. But, what luck... it caught a 40 lb. salmon feeding on some surface bait and impaled it. It's now floundering about out where some of the remains of his boat are still floating on the sand bar. Well, at least he won't starve.
I don't know why you keep going back to the tools and equipment. You know perfectly well where that stuff is.

: What, you forgot to pack the wire, too?

Oh, funny man. Here Shawn is suffering through the worst episode in his life, having a real life and death crisis and you're making jokes.

Well, just cut a length of your
: bungee cord and wrap it around the repaied area, stretching it as much as
: possible so it provides some good clamping action. Cna't decide which
: piece of bungee to sacrifice?

What's the point now??

Well, why not use the piece that is holding
: your spare paddle? PJG

Again you Tease? That paddle is at the bottom, with his gear. What he has is one bungee and a bunch of wet dry clothes and a soggy spam sandwich and some bottled water. Like he needs water now. Hmph!!

What he needs now is a good lawyer as here comes the USCG with the ranger sitting atop that big steed, coming at him from the other side of that sand ba....Oh, look ou........ Yep. a lawyer. I know Shawn, take that supposed remaining piece of bungee and tie your hands around that damaged tree and just keep screaming " PIRATES, PIRATES, LOOK OUT FOR THE PIRATES!!!"

They are going to slap you for: The illegal PFD, fishing out of season and without a license, destroying gov. protected property ( the tree, the tree ), Littering the beach ( half a boat and various dirty clothes ), poluting the waterways,( the other half of the boat ), poluting again ( the foam floating around the area and the cloth from that illegal PFD ), Salvage fees for the recovery of the sunken half of the boat, Creating a public nuisance,( wearing a skirt that's coming off ), indecent exposure ( it came off )last but not least, posession and transporting a hazardous waste item without permits ( the spam sandwich ), And we're not even going to mention the National treasure he removed from the sand bar where it has sat since time began and now it's submerged in HIS half-hull.

In my humble opinion Shawn, Bill was correct, even if not totally open with the situation as it really was, in that you are definitely S.O.L.!!!

Rehd